My mother had been battling cancer for a year and by God’s grace she was able to attend our family reunion. What was so memorable about this reunion was that my mom, after so many years of prayer, told me she was experiencing Christ. One week later she would be admitted to the hospital and a week after that she would go to Heaven.

When my mother was admitted to the hospital I drove nonstop to Canada. And since it was the weekend my mother’s oncologist wouldn’t be in until Tuesday morning, I hurried to get there on time Tuesday. I wanted to know what my mother was now facing in her battle. 

Never in a million years would I expect to hear that my mother wanted a medically assisted death. Her oncologist was taken aback as this was the first time my mother mentioned this request. I was stunned into silence.

Medical assistance in dying, or MAiD for short, is legal in Canada. How worldly to have a trendy acronym for the entrance to eternity! 

In a matter of moments, a consent on a clipboard was given to my mother and she signed her life away. My mother didn’t acknowledge me nor did the staff. It was apparent that my opinion as of no importance.

The nurse practitioner who would inject the medications to end my mother’s life was scheduled to arrive in two days. She would determine if my mother was cognizant to give full consent before administering the medications. As I write this I am struggling to come up with “professional” words. What I really want to say is “kill”/“murder” but that would imply malice. How do you describe this act that removes God from dying? 

I was thankful to have two days to talk with my mom. My mother was adamant that this was what she wanted. I asked her why and she told me that she didn’t want to be in pain. I asked if she was in pain now and she replied, no. She was on the palliative care unit and her pain seemed to be managed very well. She was talkative, seemed happy and even joked. My heart was so heavy.

I reached out and asked for prayer from so many sisters in Christ, my pastor and my mother’s pastor. My mother, who had never attended church since childhood, became a regular visitor at a church near her home as her health allowed. I knew prayers were being lifted. I talked and prayed with my pastor and my mother’s pastor visited her in the hospital. I would have to say that this was the first time I desperately reached out to my family in Christ. I know now that I will never hesitate to do it again.

When the nurse practitioner arrived, it was made very clear to me that I could attend the meeting, but I was not to interfere.

I wish I could say I felt the love of Christ for this woman. I so want to feel His love, compassion and sorrow for the unsaved. I prayed that morning for all that but now sitting across from her, all I felt was resentment.

She introduced herself and told us she had been a nurse for 45 years; I have been a nurse for almost 40 years. She pursued her advanced nursing degree; I too have an advanced nursing degree.

Out of all the commonalities one thing separated us. She felt she was honoring the terminally ill by helping them die and I was honoring the Lord Jesus Christ by supporting His purpose in my mother’s life.

The nurse practitioner continued to tell us that she has assisted in hundreds of deaths. I felt sick. I wish I could say that I was praying while she spoke, but I couldn’t even look her in the eyes and when I did take a quick peek all I saw were tired lifeless eyes.

She sensed my resistance and voiced two assumptions about why family members can be resistive to MAiD. The first, was that family members are reluctant letting their loved ones die and the second, family members are afraid their loved one will go to hell.

I immediately rejected her assumptions and told her that my mother was greatly loved by God and no matter what her decision was that she would be going to Heaven and that I would see her again.

The nurse practitioner looked at me curiously as to why I was resisting. My mind searched for the words — for Scripture — for anything. I blurted out one word — PROVIDENCE.

The nurse practitioner slowly nodded and said she understood. She told my mother that the assessment proved that my mother was fully capable of consenting to MAiD. She went on to discuss that if my mother were to become unable to verbally request the assisted dying procedure that then it would be up to me, her daughter to request it. I adamantly stated that I would not be requesting MAiD.

The nurse practitioner didn’t miss a beat and produced a consent that would allow MAiD to continue if my mother couldn’t verbally request it. So, in other words, if my mom wanted to wait to request MAiD and then became unresponsive, the nurse practitioner would be called to come in and give the medications that would end my mother’s life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

My mother declined to sign that consent because she wanted to talk to me about it more. The meeting ended and all I could feel was relief. Later that afternoon her palliative care nurse told me that she thought my mom was “transitioning.”

The palliative care nurse was correct. By the next morning my mother was unresponsive and over the next three days I sat by my mother’s bedside as she journeyed home.

It was one of the greatest honors of my life to be on that road to Heaven with my mom. When I was born my mother received me from Jesus with loving arms and I got to give her to His loving arms when she left this world.

For the next few months after her death, I pondered on the word providence. Where did that word come from? I mean, who talks like that!?

I realized that about a month before arriving at the hospital I had finished a study on the book of Esther in the women’s bible study on Wednesday night. The word providence was discussed, and I had read Esther with that word in my mind and started seeing God’s providence over the course of my life. 

On the morning of writing this devotion I had been in prayer about writing this story. That very morning, I heard a teacher discuss the book of Esther and how God’s purpose through love and wisdom will always be accomplished. 

“For the wisdom of the world is foolish-ness with God.” (1 Corinthians 3:19, NKJV)

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The world’s wisdom is based on assumptions about the nature and purpose of human life. In this story, what assumptions were made that violate God, His Word and His will for humans?

Why does God’s wisdom appear to be “foolish” to secular humans?