“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39, ESV)

It doesn’t make much sense, does it? We have something inside that makes us defend and protect ourselves. Something that makes us want to be the best and work hard to do it. So why would Jesus want us to lose our life? It’s counterintuitive.

In Matthew we find Jesus doing miracles and other amazing acts, demonstrating the power and authority that His Father had given Him. He was relating to people who needed him most — the sick, diseased and the socially disregarded. He was a walking source of power — inseparable from God His Father. And He was changing the way people believed by introducing a new covenant and new order. 

This theme of losing your life to gain something greater was something that Jesus often modeled. In Matthew 19, Jesus meets a rich young man. This guy had it all going for him, all the check marks (at least those defined by worldly standards). He was young, rich, had great possessions and was a ruler (power). But Jesus knew he had it all wrong. Not only did the young man think he could do works to gain entrance into eternal life, but when Jesus told him to sell everything he possessed and give it to the poor, the young man simply couldn’t do it. The Jews respected people with riches and regarded those persons like this young man as having God’s approval. To give it all away, would be losing his life. Even with the promise of treasures in Heaven, Jesus knew that this young man loved material things more than God. This young man’s weakness was wealth and even with eternal life in the balance, this young man couldn’t obey Jesus’s words and so, went away sad.

In Chapter 18, Jesus talks about forgiveness. He tells a story of a king who forgave much but his servant refused to forgive little. In this story, the servant forgot that the king forgave him and instead exercised his rights to collect the debts owed him in complete contrast to the actions of the king. The servant’s refusal to give up his rights and forgive landed him in jail. Holding on to wrongs will lead to unrighteous living. Sometimes we need to “lose” our pride and hardness of heart and forgive much. Our King has shown us great mercy and continues to forgive us. We gain much when we lose a life of grudges and bitterness. 

We also see Jesus teaching that people must lose their dependence on their own abilities to gain something far greater. In Matthew 8, a centurion loses self-trust that he can solve a problem and instead turns to Jesus for his servant to be healed. This centurion was a Roman officer and had much authority in the Roman world. He recognized that Jesus was a man of greater authority, and he humbled himself and asked Jesus to heal his servant. For a strong and powerful man, this must have taken much effort to submit to Jesus. But he did and the result was the healing of his servant and an amazing commendation of his faith from Jesus! We gain much when we lose a life of self-reliance! 

Matthew’s Gospel is filled with occasions where people were given the opportunity to stop trusting self and submit to Jesus’s way. What if the disciples thought that instead of listening to Jesus they should go to town and buy food? They would have missed the miraculous feeding of 5,000 people! What if the disciples turned the boat and rowed to shore instead of casting their nets on the other side? They would have missed a miraculous catch of fish! In Chapter 9, Matthew records for us a group of friends who gave up their own agenda to help a paralyzed friend get to Jesus by tearing a hole in someone’s roof! In each case, individuals died to self and counterintuitively trusted Christ. 

And ultimately, what if Jesus had prayed “my will and my will only”? Instead, He submitted to His Father as He prayed in the garden and said “not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) How counterintuitive is that?! What if Jesus had not submitted to God and died on the Cross for us? What a loss for the whole world! But Jesus lost ALL! He perfectly displayed the counterintuitive truth of losing one’s life to save it, and in doing so, saved His Bride the Church, and Himself with her. 

Dying to self and submission to God’s ways and will is always the right answer. In my own life, I’ve turned away from a lucrative career to submit to the path that God provided for me and experienced profound joy as a result. I have submitted my wants to live my life in my way only to find that He knows better in every situation. I’ve submitted my own understanding and dependence on my ability to survive as I’ve gone through cancer treatment. I’ve struggled many times to live like “I’ve lost my life” but it takes praying for God’s will to be done and relying on His grace and mercy. What is Jesus asking you to surrender? Is it pride, greed or doubt? An obsession? Lose it so that you will find life! It is counterintuitive to live life by giving up our will and submitting to God’s way. It is contrary to our independent lifestyles and our “me-first” society. But by choosing Jesus we are promised we will find life. To gain life, we must first lose it. Then, and only then, will we be given the greatest life ever. 

Write out what each of these truths mean for you right now as you meditate on Proverbs 3:5-6 and Matthew 10:39.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart:

Don’t lean on your own understanding:

In all your ways acknowledge Him:

And He will direct your paths:

Whoever tries to save their life will lose it:

But whoever loses their life for my sake will find it: