Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
C. S. Lewis once famously noted that friendship is either “a school of virtue or a school of vice.” He wrote, “Friendship makes good men better and bad men worse.” Such is the profound influence that other people have on each of us.
Lewis’ point is important when thinking about how to sound the ROAR of the Good News. We’re called to take the message of Christ into the darkness of a world of sin and fill the darkness with light. But we must guard our hearts so that the darkness doesn’t overcome us! To say it another way, we are trying to influence the world, not to be influenced BY the world.
In Proverbs, the theme of “influence” was a constant one for Solomon. Here are a few examples:
Solomon’s message: The people we choose to follow; the people we choose to connect with; the people who “have our ear;” the people we allow to influence us—these people help mold our hearts and choose our direction. That’s why friendship and fellowship with the right people are so important.
Read that last sentence again. Did that make you flinch? Admittedly, on the surface, it does seem harsh. After all, didn’t Jesus make friends with sinners? Wasn’t He condemned for eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners?” Yes, He was! The key is that Jesus did not allow these folks to influence Him. Just the opposite. Jesus spent time with these people to influence them! He wasn’t here to entertain sinners but to redeem them.
As we seek to be like Christ, we should never separate ourselves from a world of hurting people, but we do need to consider the influence others have on us and the influence we have on others. To help with this, Steven Davey suggests that we imagine our relationships with others by drawing three circles. (See the illustration below). Now imagine yourself in the center.
The outer circle represents your passive acquaintances. These are people that you casually know—you know their names, perhaps, but you really do not know anything about them or vice versa. They are simply people with whom you interact.
The second circle represents casual friendships. These are co-workers and neighbors who play a part in your daily life, and you know them pretty well. These are the people you invite to church; the people in your group at lunch; the people on your prayer list. They are casual friendships, and they are supremely important. God has given you a unique position from which to influence these people’s lives. HOWEVER, they should not have the right to influence you. That is reserved for…
The center circle; those closest to you. These are your close companions, your best friends, your counselors, and confidants. These are the people who impact your heart and life. They help develop your mindset. They help determine your direction. That’s why, for a Believer, these friends should always be fellow Christians. Only those who have knelt to Christ should have the ability to mold you. That’s not to say that we should never be “friends” with unbelievers, but it is dangerous to give them “inner circle” access.
Solomon’s advice obviously flies in the face of the “wisdom” of our culture, but we would be wise to consider his words. After all, digital media has inundated us with opportunities to make “friends” with thousands of different voices, and that is not necessarily bad. It certainly creates a platform to share the light of Christ. The key is to remember that we are called to shape culture, not be shaped by culture.
Be careful whose voice captures your attention. Be wary of who is allowed into your inner circle. Only those who are led by Christ should have access to shape our hearts.
Remember Proverbs 4:23, “Watch over your heart,” Solomon wrote, “For from it flow the springs of life.”
In Chase the Lion, Mark Batterson writes that in 1983 Lorne Whitehead published an article about the domino chain reaction. You can picture it in your mind, can’t you? You knock over a domino, and it sets off a chain reaction that can knock down hundreds of dominoes in a matter of seconds. But the unique significance of Whitehead’s research was discovering that a domino is capable of knocking over a domino that is one-and-a-half times its size. So a two-inch domino can topple a three-inch domino. A three-inch domino can topple a four-and-a-half-inch domino. And a four-and-a-half-inch domino can topple a… well, you get the point.
By the time you get to the eighteenth domino, you could knock over the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Of course, it’s leaning, so that’s not fair. The twenty-third domino could knock over the Eiffel Tower. And by the time you get to the twenty-ninth domino, you could take down the Empire State Building.
In the realm of mathematics, there are two types of progression: linear and geometric. Linear progression is two plus two equals four. Geometric progression is compound doubling. Two times two equals four. If you take thirty linear steps, you’re ninety feet from where you started. But if you take thirty geometric steps, you’ve circled the earth twenty-six times!
Faith isn’t linear. Faith is geometric. Every decision we make, every step of faith we take, has a chain reaction. And those chain reactions set off a thousand chain reactions we aren’t even aware of. They won’t be revealed until we reach the other side of the space-time continuum.
SEEING CLEARLY—Take a deep breath and ask yourself this simple question: WHO has the greatest influence over me? Write their names in your journal.
Now, put a number beside each person ranking their passion for God: 0 = None | 10 = All Consuming
Add up your numbers and find the average. According to the facts behind the scriptures shared in this devotion, that “spiritual temperature” is what you are becoming. Is there a person who should be dropped from your list? Can you think of a person whose life is hot for God with whom you should grow closer to? Write out a bold prayer for those persons in your life, and pray for a greater boldness for your own heart as you make wise choices regarding those to embrace or forsake.
Michael and Emily Merrill: Southeast AsiaBACK TO WEEKLY DEVOTIONS